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Bachelorette Episode 5 Recap: GUILTY


Desiree and the boys were off to Munich Germany. They arrive there, looking as European as they possibly can, all in the most American, go-to plane ride outfit, zip-up hoodies. How un-European one can be. One thing to keep in mind during this episode, in the Bachelor court of law, you are innocent until proven guilty.

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-AE models-

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-At least Kasey is working on his German-

One-on-One Date: Chris

Chris gets the first one-on-one, which he totally deserves, considering he read the date card in a pretty decent German accent, which James and all the other guys failed at. Chris and Des explore the city of Munich, getting through with their trusty, touristy map, and both of them not knowing a bit of German, except Chris’ go-to line, “can I please have a cappuccino?” At least they weren’t in Thailand eating bugs like Sean and Lindsay. While things are going well for Des and Chris, things are heating up back at the hotel. While they’re exploring, eating sausages, botching the German language, and trying on costumes, Bryden is having a heart-to-heart with the other guys about his feelings for Des, or lack thereof. Remember — he put his feelings out there in AC and telling Des how he feels behind the other guys (yes, Bryden did get the first one-on-one date) in Atlantic City. While telling him about her experience on the show during Sean’s season and how she knows what he’s going through, Des convinced him to stay. Basically, Bryden left his balls and his head in the United States, and decided to barge in on Des and Chris’ date to tell her — What a class act.

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While Bryden is running around Munich (think Sean from last season but better…MUCH better), asking locals if they have seen camera crews. Hello, Bryden…try looking behind you. He eventually finds Des and Chris, dancing and getting ready to go off to the next part of their date. Chris looks more confused than Desiree when Bryden asks to borrow her, but promises to bring her right back. I mean what else would he have done with her? Bryden basically proves what a selfish, classless individual he is and tells Des that he just isn’t feeling what he should be and he wants to be with someone that he is absolutely sure about so he’s photo-363  leaving. Des knew it was coming, after their talk in AC. Despite that, Des is sad, annoyed, embarrassed — and maybe a little heartbroken, just a little. “It hurts,” she says. “But I’m not going to let Bryden affect my date with Chris. Not at all. I just want to get back to Chris so that I can feel happy again.”

As Des hugs Chris, you can tell they have a bond, one much stronger than her and Bryden’s ever was and ever would be. They go enjoy some beer (what else?), promising to take steps forward in this journey together, and leave the past in the past. AMEN!

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After guzzling their beers, Des and Chris got into their typical, formal, American dress and sat down to a fairytale type dinner in a mansion/castle. They talked about what they’re each looking for in a relationship, finding out they have more in common than they originally thought. Chris reads the poem he wrote for Des on the plane ride to Munich at 2 AM. They make out, Des asks him to accept her rose, and they dance to a private concert by Matt White.

Group Date: Brooks, Drew, James, Kasey, Zak, Juan Pablo, and Mikey

Des meets 7 guys for a group date on top of a mountain (the highest point), where they’re given a lesson on yodeling. It’s safe to say, none of the guys mastered yodeling by the end of their lesson. Sledding came next, to which Zak compared to love. “You know, love is like sledding down this hill,” he begins. “From the first day, we all pushed off and looked down and said, ‘Here we go.'”

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The date was pretty much uneventful, including the time they all spent in the igloo, drinking beer and eating pretzels. The guys do start to question James’ intentions of why he is there, after several comments he has made. Desiree got to spend one-on-one time Bachelorette-Episode-Munich-Germany-Video with the guys (of course we see no on-air time with Drew), made out with James, made a Tenerelli family of 5 with meathead Mikey, but in the end, Brooks got the rose.

2-on-1 Date: Michael & Ben

Oh the dreaded 2-on-1 date! Typically the 2-on-1 comes with some awkwardness but in this case, it comes with much awkwardness. There’s always a little competitive edge to the guys on the date, trying to one-up each other, getting more time with the bachelor/ette but Michael already has it in for Ben, who he describes as “repulsive”. “In this competitive gladiator style setting, I need to now go and murder Ben”, Michael says. This just might be the most dramatic date ever.

Bachelorette_320x240The guys meet Desiree, where they talk about how beautiful it is, and Ben goes off on a tangent about how flat Texas is, that a dog could run away for three days. What? Des tells them they will be doing the polar bear plunge (think Sean’s season). They get into their suits and matching turquoise robes and get ready to de-robe and jump in, when Des tells them they’re going to go hot-tugging instead. A hot tug has got to be the best invention EVER! A hot tug is a hot tub meets a boat. BEST invention EVER. The hot tug might be a romantic setting for a one-on-one but when Michael is trying to convict Ben of a fraud, it becomes quite stressful. Michael attacks Ben on his lack of morals and values, calling him out on several of his answers to Des’ questions. Michael asks Ben if he’s talked to his son, Brody, who he brought to meet Des on the first night. Ben says he hasn’t talked to his son because of the time difference and how difficult it is. Remember all those single parents on the show in the past, Ben? They ALL made time to talk to their kids, either on the phone or in person because the show helped them see or talk to them. NO excuses. Desiree feels the awkwardness and wants to escape the hot tug as quickly as she can. That polar bear plunge is sounding better and better as the awko talko continues. The talk gets even more intense, switching to religion. Ben says it is very difficult to keep your mouth shut and be a good Christian.

Meanwhile, back at the house, Mikey T. and James are fooling around with each other, forming quite a bromance, while Drew, Kasey, Chris, and Brooks are having a pow-wow about a conversation overheard the night before about Mikey T. and James not being there for the right reasons. Apparently, James thinks if he loses the “game”, everyone will know who he is, which will help him become the next Bachelor and run the city of Chicago. He told Mikey that he could introduce him to many “tall, good looking women that have a lot of money.” Drew says he has no problem stepping in tomorrow at the cocktail party to let Des know what kind of frauds are there (besides Ben).

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Things only escalate from there. Once the trio are back on solid ground, Michael’s prosecution intensifies. During dinner, he presses Ben for answers about why he doesn’t get along with the rest of the guys in the house, and why he didn’t go to church with everyone on Easter Sunday. Des is visibly uncomfortable, and she tells Michael to cool it but he will not let up. Ben, to his credit and to be a good Christian, keeps his cool until Michael attacks his parenting skills again, at which point he politely excuses himself from dinner to take a breather. Michael really takes a big chance, throwing Ben under the bus, considering every other girl/guy who did this on previous seasons, they were sent home. Des doesn’t see the qualities in either of them that she wants, so she debates letting both of them go.

After confronting Michael about his aggressive tactics, Des goes outside to check on Ben. She seems to sympathize with him, but she admits later that she has reservations. “I know that there are some things the guys don’t like about him,” she says. “And for Ben to be the outcast in this wonderful group of guys, that says something. Desiree, having learned that typically the girl or guy who is the target and outcast, like her roommate, Tierra, knows that Ben could be THAT guy. They have a conversation, with Ben bringing up his son, again, to attempt to get Des to feel badly for him. She also has one-on-one time with Michael, again discussing why Ben is there for the wrong reasons. Apparently, Desiree believes the federal prosecutor, and she sends Ben home, and keeps Michael. Justice has been served.

“You want me to sit here and look unhappy? I’m not,” Ben sneers in the limo. “Tonight will go down in history as the worst date of my life.” #WorstDateEver Ben proceeds to let the producers know what they missed out on with him as the next Bachelor, “Call Hollywood”, he says. “I’m having fun in my last night in Munich, where we getting drunk? Lets have some fun tonight.”

Cocktail Party/Rose Ceremony

The guys come to the rose ceremony with the intention of calling out James and Mikey T. and letting Desiree know who is there for the wrong reasons. Much to the guys’ despise, Des lets Chris Harrison know that she doesn’t need to have a cocktail party, and that her decision is made up.

When James got a rose, the guys looked stunned, yet knowing his connection with Des, not completely surprised. Kasey wasn’t shocked, but angry, describing James as “immature, shallow, materialistic, self-serving piece of s***”.” Desiree sent Michael T. home, proving that they didn’t have a connection like her and the other guys. Sorry, James — your bro is gone. Now James will have to wait to continue his plan with Mikey T. to get women and become the most well-known guys in Chicago. Good luck to the hulk. Drew, and the other guys are pretty sure they will make the truth known to Des, and James will be let go sooner, rather than later.

Next week, Spain promises to bring even more drama thanks to James, and some romance. I think, think we will get some Drew time. Don’t hold me to it but thats what the previews make me believe. Until next week..

Xoxo,

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